Sunday, Sept. 08, 2002 - 6:46 pm
2nd entry
Princess Di's 5th death anniversary. How come she's so forgotten? I admit, I kinda forgot her as years passed. She had such a pure heart, a golden one, too and I know that's why God waited until she had done enough to help people and still had fun in her life and thentook His angel back, so I couldn't be more happier with where she is. Go here for a video on "England's Rose".
Anyway, was about to go shopping for earrings with my mum, but it was cancelled because she didn't like the way I dressed, even though she bought me the top, so I dumped it in the bin, but I made sure the bin was atleast covered in clean tissue so it won't be too icky for me to re-use it after it's been washed.
And now I'm wearing a big fuzzy sweater that my mum gave me because my family doesn't like my tops, they're always embarrassed to be seen with me. For example, my brother. He didn't even say hi to me at the airport when I came back from M'sia. He saw what I was wearing and quickly drove home. And when I got out he wasn't there.
Anyway, I was going crazy. Yeah, I know dealing with me is really really REALLY hard (and I'm saying that for real now), dammit, I wouldn't want to have me as my daughter and that's what scares me. I can't control my emotions. It's screwed up, I'm screwed up.
So I slammed my door, thought for a bit, ran downstairs and played the piano, which was in the old scary guestroom, they couldn't afford to fix. I know the piano's going to be fixed soon because my Dad says so and he never breaks his promises. I always believe him, even though he never says no, but he always tries.
And even though I don't say it much, I KNOW for sure things are gonna get better because once it becomes the worst, it can't go anywhere except up. And I pray and pray a lot to God, I communicate with Him a lot more now and I know I'm not gonna be screwed up my entire life.
I'm proud.
I just shut my "cakehole" for once and played the broken piano.
